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Juggler, by Helico, via Flickr)

Semester has started. Intense. Scurry hurry trying to put things together. Always just a little not enough time since there are those things over there (chapters, essays, things to read) which is where my attention has been focussed for the last few weeks. I really struggle to divide time and attention across all the things that teaching requires. Planning, preparation, notes, assessment outlines, photocopying, dealing with all the white noise of the students (what if? what is? where is? why is? how do?). I am supposed to be finishing a chapter draft. I wrote a lot of it before Christmas, then moving to a new home, Christmas, holidays, unpacking, all intervened. It is only a draft, but it does need some things pulled out of it. Should have been sent through two weeks ago. Deferred as the avalanche of the new semester shoves all else aside. Then I get stuck in thinking I need a block of time to work on it to get it off my desk, temporarily. There is no block of time. The kids, commute, meetings, new proposals, administrative rubble. It just needs some minutes, even here and there, to keep the project moving. Forward and along. But instead it gets delayed and deferred as I wait for that block of time. A deeply unproductive mode that has its own fair share of guilt. And then anxiety (perhaps it just isn’t any good anyway?).

So today I’ll spend time on it, even if it ends up being only 5 minutes. To push it along. Particularly since something else has been accepted for publication if, if, I substantially rewrite the introduction, by next week. I was going to make that the priority. Till I realised the chapter has to be moved, then I can worry about this more recent stuff. It feels like juggling, each thing getting only enough attention to keep it in the air.

Tags: Lifes Little Pieces, practice